• Skip to navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys

AAEPA, Inc

Find a Member Member's Login
Call Today (800) 846-1555
  • Membership
    • Membership Membership
    • submenu
      • Why Join?
      • Member Requirements
      • Become A Member
      • Meet the Team
  • Estate planning software
  • Education
  • Practice management
    • Practice management Practice Management
    • submenu
      • 11 Essential Systems
      • Coaching
      • Law Firm Marketing
  • Resources
    • Resources Resources
    • submenu
      • Live Training
      • Blog
  • Contact Us

Grief: Not a Stage, But a Journey

Home » Client Services » Grief: Not a Stage, But a Journey

In 1969, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross published her groundbreaking book On Death and Dying which introduced what became known as the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages were originally based on Kübler-Ross’ years of working with dying patients but came to be applied to people who are grieving the death of a loved one or experiencing a significant loss (such as divorce, chronic illness, losing a job, etc.). Kübler-Ross’ five stages are controversial within the grief support community due to the ways in which popular culture has used them to try to explain grief and prescribe how the bereaved should behave as if the stages were a “how to” list.  Those who work with the bereaved know that grief is not a linear process, and each individual’s grief journey is unique.  Kübler-Ross herself never meant these stages to be used as a rigid framework to be applied to everyone who mourns. In On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss (Scribner, 2005), the last book she wrote before her death in 2004, she said of the five stages, “They were never meant to help tuck messy emotions into neat packages. They are responses to loss that many people have, but there is not a typical response to loss, as there is no typical loss. Our grief is as individual as our lives.”

No two people grieve in the exact same way. Even within a family each person will grieve differently based on the relationship they had with the person who died. Current grief theory reinforces the personal nature of each individual’s grief journey and focuses on what might help the bereaved create meaning from the experience of the death and come to an understanding of what the death means in terms of their personal beliefs and their identity.

The bereaved often feel alone in their grief, that others don’t understand or are judging them for somehow not grieving “right.” Grief is not something that someone goes through with a definitive end point.  The goal of grief work has moved away from getting over the death, to instead finding a way to incorporate the memory of the person who died into your life in such a way that over time their death feels less painful.

Children in our program often talk about aspirations they have for themselves based on their relationship with their deceased family member, “I want to do well in football because my dad used to be my coach,” or “I want to be as kind as my sister was.” The people we love are a part of our lives forever and even after their deaths, our memories of them and their influence upon us affects our beliefs, behavior and goals.

Marian Mankin is a Program Director of Bo’s Place, a bereavement center in Houston, TX where she has worked since 2004. Marian coordinates and creates the curriculum for grief support groups for families who have experienced a parent’s death and the Little Friends program for 3-5 year olds. She frequently presents on topics related to children’s bereavement and has served on the board of directors of the National Alliance for Grieving Children. Marian is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker whose previous experience includes working as a therapist in a psychiatric hospital and in therapeutic foster care.

Academy Guest Blogger
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (800) 846-1555
www.aaepa.com

  • Author
  • Recent Posts
Marian Mankin
Academy Guest Blogger, Marian Mankin, LCSW, 2014 Spring Summit presenter of “Understanding and Working with the Bereaved”
Latest posts by Marian Mankin (see all)
  • Grief: Not a Stage, But a Journey - April 18, 2014
SHARE

Primary Sidebar

Subscribe to our blog

Recent Posts

  • How Do I Title Thee…Part I
  • Turning Stalled Out Goals into Actions
  • What Makes a Will or Trust Invalid
  • Ultimate Social Media Cheat Sheet: Character Limits & Best Days/Times to Post
  • Understanding Tax Apportionment Clauses

Categories

  • Academy Girl Friday (33)
  • Client Services (238)
  • Coaching (33)
  • Consumer Advantage (3)
  • Counseling (21)
  • Elder Law (5)
  • Estate Planning (919)
  • Estate Planning Documents (5)
  • Estate Planning Education (199)
  • Financial Analysis (3)
  • Financial Services (1)
  • General (19)
  • Law Firm Marketing (281)
  • Law Firm Net Revenue (7)
  • Law Firm Staffing (99)
  • Law Firm Technology (45)
  • Law Firm Web Tips (185)
  • Leadership (191)
  • Legal Education (645)
  • Marketing Tools (2)
  • Medicaid (1)
  • Member Services (1)
  • Owners Compensation (1)
  • Peak Performer Focus (1)
  • Practice Building Calls (1)
  • Practice Management (495)
  • SEO/Social Media Support (3)
  • Software (6)
  • Strategic Planning (9)
  • Uncategorized (15)

Footer

logo of American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys

About Us

  • Meet the Team
  • Site Map
  • Legal Notice
  • Privacy Policy

Explore Our Services

  • Coaching
  • Estate planning software
  • Events
  • Legal education
  • Marketing
  • Web and SEO

Keep in Touch

Mon-Fri

9444 Balboa Ave. Suite 300

San Diego

(800) 846-1555

info@aaepa.com

Take Back Control of Your Business and Your Life

+

footer section | American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys

© 2022 American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc All rights reserved.

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept All”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent. Don't sell my personal information.
Cookie Settings Accept All
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
Save & Accept