Embalming is one of the “ickier” aspects of funerals that keep people from considering funeral planning in advance. That’s a shame, because no state laws require embalming. It comes down to the question of viewing. Embalming was first utilized broadly in the United States during the Civil War. Back then, surgeon-embalmers utilized chemical compounds, including mercury and arsenic, to preserve soldiers’ bodies long enough to ship them from the battlefield to their hometowns. Embalming involves … [Read more...] about Reasons Clients Avoid Funeral Planning: Embalming
Guidance for Families When a Member is Dying
It’s appropriate this blog post is appearing on April 16, National Healthcare Decisions Day. The initiative is designed to encourage individuals to prepare and discuss their advance medical directives. Advance directives enable families to know what kind of care is desired, should a loved one become ill and not be able to communicate. Studies indicate 73% of Americans would prefer to die at home, but up to 50% die in hospital settings. It takes courage and determination to carry out a loved … [Read more...] about Guidance for Families When a Member is Dying
Recommended Reading: Books for A Good Goodbye
What books do you suggest to your clients when it comes to end-of-life and funeral planning issues? I’ve got a bunch of great resources on my bookshelf. Here are a few recommendations for your consideration, with direct links to Amazon: Jane Brody, weekly personal health columnist for The New York Times, has written prolifically on living a healthy lifestyle. As she so practically notes in the preface to her book, “…even the healthiest of lives eventually must come to an end. In this book I … [Read more...] about Recommended Reading: Books for A Good Goodbye
Family Clashes Over Funeral Plans
What would more likely get your clients to make pre-need funeral plans: a real life tragedy or a light romantic comedy? Consider these two approaches. The family of Josh Powell, the man who killed his two sons in an explosive house fire in Washington state, recently said he will not be buried in the same cemetery as the children. Powell's mother, wracked by grief, realized no one else was planning the disposition of Josh Powell's remains. All the attention was focused on his two murdered … [Read more...] about Family Clashes Over Funeral Plans
How Can We Start a Reluctant Conversation?
Estate planning, as well as funeral planning, is generally a hard conversation to start. People are reluctant to talk about their mortality. There’s actually a psychological term for this reluctance: the Terror Management Theory. It’s based on the work of Dr. Ernest Becker and his 1973 Pulitzer Prize-winning work, The Denial of Death. The Terror Management Theory posits that all human behavior is ultimately motivated by the fear of death. Death creates anxiety: it can strike at unexpected and … [Read more...] about How Can We Start a Reluctant Conversation?
Funny Films for Serious Conversations: Grand Theft Parsons
This story is so extraordinary that if it didn't really happen, no one would believe it. It seems life truly is stranger than fiction. The story involves two men, a hearse, a dead rock star, five gallons of gasoline, and a promise. Remember the influential country rock musician Gram Parsons? He played with Emmylou Harris, The Byrds, The Flying Burrito Brothers, and The International Submarine Band. Parsons died in 1973 in a motel room near Joshua Tree National Monument from a morphine overdose … [Read more...] about Funny Films for Serious Conversations: Grand Theft Parsons
30 Funerals in 30 Days
I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death. After 30 funerals in 30 days, to quote The Grateful Dead, what a long, strange trip it’s been. No, my circle of family and friends has not been decimated. I did not personally know any of these people, but met them through the local obituaries. I documented their goodbye services on The Family Plot Blog as the 30 Funerals in 30 Days Challenge. As the self-proclaimed “Doyenne of Death,” I undertook this challenge for three reasons: To … [Read more...] about 30 Funerals in 30 Days
October 30 Is Create a Great Funeral Day – Don’t Fear The Reaper
On Halloween, October 31, we celebrate ghosts and scary things. The spirits of the deceased are remembered on November 1 and 2, All Saints Day and All Souls Day, respectively, also known as the Day of the Dead celebration. Yet, you might not know this October 30 is the 12th annual Create a Great Funeral Day. Before Halloween ghosts and Day of the Dead spirits can go a-haunting, there’s usually a funeral or memorial service – the party no one wants to plan. Confronting the idea of our own death … [Read more...] about October 30 Is Create a Great Funeral Day – Don’t Fear The Reaper
Cryonics and Estate Planning
Former American Idol judge and The X Factor creator Simon Cowell. Famed baseball slugger Ted Williams. Bredo Morstoel. Robert Ettinger. What do these four men have in common? And who are Morstoel and Ettinger? They all have been, or intend to be, put into a cryogenic deep freeze after death. Their hope: when medical science comes up with a cure for whatever ailed them, they can be revived, cured, and restored to life. Given that this might happen hundreds of years in the future, if at all, the … [Read more...] about Cryonics and Estate Planning
Today’s Funeral Services and Certified Celebrants
The International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association recently held their summer university. I attended the ICCFA University College of 21st Century Funeral Services and came away with a new perspective on how funerals are changing. Dr. Alan Wolfelt, a psychologist trained in life transitions who spoke there, said, “More and more people in North America are asking ‘Why have a funeral?’” People are saying, “When I die, just get rid of me no muss, no fuss. Maybe have a party, but I sure … [Read more...] about Today’s Funeral Services and Certified Celebrants
Funny Films for Serious Conversations: The Six Wives of Henry Lefay
The quote, "Dying is easy. Comedy is hard," has been attributed to actors throughout centuries. Comedy can help make the hard topic of death, funerals, and estate planning easier to discuss. Lately, I’ve been screening a number of comedy films with scenes related to funerals or death. As I speak to groups on getting the funeral planning conversation started, I’ve started using clips from funny films and television programs to great effect. (I do have a license to do this, addressing that threat … [Read more...] about Funny Films for Serious Conversations: The Six Wives of Henry Lefay
The Four R’s of Funerals
“Don’t have a funeral for me when I’m gone.” People say this, not realizing while the memorial service is about them, it’s not really for them. Funerals are for those still living who grieve the loss of someone they love. Funeral and memorial service rituals help recognize this transition, socially acknowledge the death, and help start processing grief to move toward healing. Dr. William G. Hoy, a grief counselor and death educator, explained, “Very often — with those who don’t stop and … [Read more...] about The Four R’s of Funerals
