Overcoming Ego and Resistance: Embracing A Coachable Mindset

It happens all the time. A Member is excited about coaching, they want me to consult them and tell them what changes they should make, they tell me how badly they need to make some modifications in the way they are doing business. As soon as we discuss the pain points and discover clear solutions, I hear it. They become resistant. They clutch to the old way like a little old lady with her handbag. They begin defending their current practices. They boast about how well things are working, when just a few moments before they were asking me “How do I grow my law firm?”

In the journey towards growth, one of the most significant barriers we often encounter is our own ego. The ego is a protective mechanism. Its tendency is to cling to familiar patterns. This can hinder our progress and prevent us from fully embracing opportunities for learning and improvement. However, by adopting a coachable mindset, Members can effectively overcome these obstacles and unlock the full potential of their estate planning firm.

Understanding the Ego

Psychology Today defines the ego as the part of our self that tries to maintain a consistent, justifiable place in the world. The ego represents the self-image we construct based on our experiences, beliefs, and perceptions. It helps us protect our sense of identity, but it can also make us resistant to change.

You can see the ego manifest itself as resistance when confronted with feedback or guidance that challenges our existing beliefs or behaviors. It seeks to maintain status quo, fearing uncertainty and vulnerability that come with growth. As a result, we find ourselves dismissing input, making excuses, and becoming defensive.

So, my Members aren’t being stubborn just to make life difficult. Their ego is trying to protect them. But, with supportive confrontation, awareness, and practice, Members can learn to have an open mind and embrace a coaching mindset.

Embracing a Coaching Mindset

Overcoming ego and resistance requires a conscious effort to adopt a coachable mindset; one that is open, receptive, and willing to learn. Here are some strategies that have helped our Members:

1. Practice Humility: Recognize that no matter how much knowledge or experience you have, there is always room for improvement. Approach every coaching session as an opportunity to learn
2. Listen Actively: Being an active listener means listening to understand. Set aside your preconceptions and allow yourself to be present in the moment. Don’t allow your mind to start thinking about your rebuttal, your justification, or excuse. Just listen to learn
3. Embrace Vulnerability: Accept that change and growth involve stepping outside your comfort zone. Be willing to acknowledge mistakes
4. Maintain An Open Mind: Approach innovative ideas and perspectives with curiosity. What will happen if you just try? Be open to explore alternatives and challenge your assumptions
5. Set Goals: Establish clear goals with yourself and your coach. Goal setting includes accountability which can motivate you to try something different and push aside your resistance

At the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, every Member works with a Practice Building Coach. We have over 30 years of experience helping our Members overcome resistance, break through barriers, and see the next horizon. If you want to learn how to get more clients as a lawyer, streamline your processes or build your business into an enterprise law firm, contact us at  https://www.aaepa.com/contact/.

Our Member’s success is our success.

Carrie Smith
Associate Director of Member Services
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (858) 453-2128
www.aaepa.com