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Estate planning attorneys can use the popular TV program Mad Men to help their clients start conversations on wills, trusts and funerals.
In the season premiere of AMC-TV’s Mad Men, mortality seems to be on the minds of many key characters.
Ad exec Roger Sterling’s secretary tearfully delivers the news that his 91-year-old mother died of a stroke in her bathroom. This sets in motion many of the reactions and relationship issues we so often see at funerals or memorial services: dazed and stunned mourners, tense and awkward interactions with distant relatives, and family members angling for money.
Roger takes the news without a tear. In a later scene, he confesses to his psychiatrist that he really doesn’t feel anything at all anymore.
At the memorial service held in Mom’s elegant home, a demanding older woman in a wheelchair (an old friend of Roger’s mother) insists on being the first speaker at the event. She relates that after Roger’s father died, Mom made her son the center of her life. Roger doesn’t seem to know what to do with this information.
Use this as a lesson your clients can learn from: It can be helpful to have a celebrant or clergy person emceeing the memorial service, to thoughtfully manage speakers such as this lady. The bereaved family has enough on their hearts and minds without having to stage-manage a show.
Interestingly, Roger’s mother was cremated. She was in the minority in 1967. That year, those choosing cremation for final disposition in the U.S. averaged 4.18% of the entire population (figures from CANA, the Cremation Association of North America).
Roger’s ex-wives and daughter show up at the memorial service. In the fashion of the era, all are dressed in black. One of the ex-wives has a new husband who shows up to pay his respects, and Roger screams at him to get out. Then Roger declares the memorial service over. It hardly had a chance to get started.
After the service, Roger’s daughter asks if “Nana” had left her anything. Roger hands her a jar of water from the Jordan River, water used to baptize them both. She was hoping for money that could be used for a new venture her husband wants to invest in – refrigerated trucking.
Roger informs his daughter that Nana’s estate directed most of her considerable assets toward supporting animals at the zoo. Roger says her will “looked like the manifest for Noah’s ark.”
At least her money went toward a cause she believed in.
Mad Men is an addictive television series. Even if you or your clients have never watched it, you may want to seek out this season six opening episode, titled “Doorways.”
Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death®, is author of the award-winning book, A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die. She hosts a new television interview series, A Good Goodbye TV and the upcoming Internet radio program at RockStarRadioNetwork.com. She uses humorous film and TV clips to help start funeral planning conversations. Her website is www.AGoodGoodbye.com.
Academy Guest Blogger
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (858) 453-2128
www.aaepa.com
Estate planning attorneys work with clients from many faiths. Understanding each faith’s funeral traditions allows you to better help the families you serve.
As the Doyenne of Death® and Vice-President of the Jewish-Christian Dialogue of New Mexico, I help explain Jewish traditions to our Christian brethren. Here are a few key things to know about Jewish funerals.
The 24-Hour Rule
The Jewish tradition of burying a body within 24 hours has Biblical as well as practical roots. Practically, the religion started in a hot desert culture, before the advent of modern refrigeration or embalming techniques. In fact, many aspects of Jewish funerals are echoed in Muslim funeral traditions.
Decomposition sets in within 24 hours without refrigeration or embalming, so burying quickly became a hallmark of Jewish funerals. The rules dictated in the Bible come from Deuteronomy 21:23: “Thou shalt bury him the same day,” and “His body shall not remain all night.”
Jewish Burial Equals Green Burial
Ashes to ashes, dust to dust: Traditionally, Jews avoid embalming, as the blood is considered a part of the body, which is to be kept as intact as possible. The body is dressed in white cotton or linen clothing or shrouds. The casket is made of soft wood such as pine or poplar, meant to biodegrade in contact with the earth. The body, clothing and wood all decompose at about the same rate.
No Flowers
The custom of sending fragrant flowers to funerals originated in part to cover the smell of a decomposing body. Because of the promptness of Jewish burial, flowers are unnecessary. Memorial donations to a worthy cause supported by the deceased are the preferred way to show your sympathy.
No Viewing
Jews generally avoid viewing the body at a funeral, as it’s considered disrespectful of the earthly vessel that once held the human spirit.
However, the body is traditionally watched over prior to the funeral by a shomer (translated as observer or watchman) who recites prayers for the deceased. This has a practical basis going back to the desert culture origin, to keep wild animals from eating the body before burial.
Community Support After the Funeral
One of the biggest differences between Christians and Jews in funerals is when the family receives the support of their community. Christians may spend several days in visitation and viewings leading up to the funeral. Jews bury quickly and the family spends time after the funeral receiving the support of their community during the seven-day period of mourning known as shiva (translated as seven).
For more information about the many traditions related to Jewish funerals and mourning, check out www.ShivaConnect.com. It is a great resource that also offers a free service to help families coordinate communications and food following a funeral.
Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death®, is author of the award-winning book, A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die and host of the new television interview series, A Good Goodbye TV. She speaks regularly to Jewish and Christian groups and helps start funeral planning conversations. Her website is www.AGoodGoodbye.com.
Academy Guest Blogger
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (858) 453-2128
www.aaepa.com
Which television venue can better help start funeral planning conversations: reality TV or TV interviews? Yep, even funerals are fair game for reality TV, as you’ll find out.
TV interviews can get people talking about their own funeral services by bringing the conversation directly into their homes. The problem is, most news and talk programs won’t touch the subject.
That’s why A Good Goodbye TV, an educational and entertaining 12-episode series of 30-minute programs, will present expert interviews on “everything you need to know before you go.”
Each conversation on A Good Goodbye TV will illustrate my motto: Talking about sex won’t make you pregnant, and talking about funerals won’t make you dead. By planning ahead and having a conversation, families can reduce stress at a time of grief, minimize family conflict, save money and create a meaningful, memorable “good goodbye.”
It’s rare to see people talk knowledgeably about estate and funeral planning issues on television. Watching such a conversation enables families to discuss these topics and take action BEFORE there’s a crisis.
Topics to be covered include estate planning, funeral planning, cremation, cemeteries, managing costs, eco-friendly funerals, life celebrations, pet loss, end-of-life issues and much more.
The episode on estate planning will feature Jim Plitz, attorney with AAEPA member firm Morris, Hall & Kinghorn, P.L.L.C. The firm has offices in Phoenix, Tucson, Albuquerque and other communities throughout Arizona and New Mexico.
The program will initially air on public access channels in New Mexico, then be offered nationally to 2,700 content-hungry public access channels. Pay-per-view online downloads and DVDs will follow.
Compare intelligent conversation with “reality TV.” On January 6, the cable channel TLC debuted a pilot program Best Funeral Ever, focused on over-the-top celebratory funerals. It featured African-American “home-going” services produced by the Golden Gate Funeral Home in Dallas, TX.
Each funeral had a theme: a Christmas funeral for a man who loved the holiday season; a barbeque funeral for the singer of a jingle about baby back ribs; and a memorial service visit to the East Texas State Fair with the cremated remains of a man who loved the fair but couldn’t go on rides because he had spina bifada.
These colorful, activity-filled funerals were the opposite of traditional services. The funeral home staffers were creative, energetic and totally committed to serving their families. The families served were very happy with the results.
While participating in a live online chat with funeral directors watching the program, industry reactions were mixed. The pseudo-dramatic aspects of the program got the most negative reviews. Some funeral directors wondered about the dignity of the proceedings – especially the presence of live animals (two pigs at the barbeque funeral, 17 unusual manger animals for the Christmas funeral).
And yet, this program showed what an arrangement conference with a family in a funeral home actually looks like. Plus, it showed people truly celebrating the lives of those they loved.
If it takes a program like Best Funeral Ever to get people to talk about funeral planning, I’m all for it! But “reality TV” is not the only reality on television. What kind of TV do you think your clients would prefer for starting a funeral planning conversation?
You can learn more about A Good Goodbye TV here: http://agoodgoodbye.com/a-good-goodbye-tv-series/
Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death®, is author of the award-winning book, A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die and host of the new television interview series, A Good Goodbye TV. She speaks to groups using clips from funny films to illustrate funeral planning issues and help start serious conversations. Her website is www.AGoodGoodbye.com.
Academy Guest Blogger
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (858) 453-2128
www.aaepa.com
Eventually every family has to arrange the party no one wants to plan – a funeral. With relatives gathering for the holiday, it’s an opportune time to start a face-to-face conversation about each person’s ideal send-off.
However, it’s often awkward to start a funeral planning conversation. Hollywood to the rescue!
It’s easy to watch a funny film and start a serious conversation based on what you see in the movie. Here is a list of funny, family-friendly films that bring a light touch to a dark subject. These movies can help get the conversation started.
Undertaking Betty (2002 – PG-13) starring Brenda Blethyn, Alfred Molina and Christopher Walken. Stuck in a marriage that’s killing her, Betty thinks the only way to break from her two-timing scoundrel of a husband is to fake her own death. With the help of her rekindled old flame, the local undertaker, she finds a new life after a comedic funeral journey. The flamboyant competing funeral director in town creates the ultimate Star Trek funeral.
The Six Wives of Henry Lefay (2009 – PG-13) This is a comedic cautionary tale for those who don’t make funeral plans, or for those who make plans but get married way too many times. It’s especially instructive on the need to keep estate plans up-to-date. Stars include Tim Allen, Elisha Cuthbert and Andie MacDowell.
Waking Ned Devine (1998 – PG) starring Ian Bannen and David Kelly. After Ned Devine dies from the shock of winning the lottery, two longtime friends, Michael and Jackie, discover the body. They embark upon an outrageous scheme to claim the jackpot by getting all the townsfolk to go along with their plan. There’s a lovely scene that raises the idea of being present at one’s own funeral and hearing what people would say about you.
Get Low (2010 – PG-13) starring Robert Duvall, Bill Murray, and Sissy Spacek. This comedy/drama is based on the true story of a Depression-era man who threw himself a “funeral party” while he was still alive to hear what people would say about him. It shows how much detail goes into planning any kind of party, especially a funeral party.
Other comedy films to consider are Death at a Funeral (U.K. version 2007, U.S. version 2010, both rated R), Grand Theft Parsons (2003 – PG-13), and cult classic Harold and Maude (1971-PG). Most are available from Netflix or Amazon.com. You can find other funeral planning film recommendations at http://agoodgoodbye.com/funeral-films/.
Gail Rubin, The Doyenne of Death™, is author of the award-winning book, A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die and host of the new television interview series, A Good Goodbye TV. She speaks to groups using clips from funny films to illustrate funeral planning issues and help start serious conversations. Her website is www.AGoodGoodbye.com.
Academy Guest Blogger
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (858) 453-2128
www.aaepa.com
The Death Café is a new trend that estate planning attorneys can employ to help clients to consider their mortality and address the implications of everyone’s finite life spans.
The objective of Death Café is “To increase awareness of death with a view toward helping people make the most of their (finite) lives.” People come together in a relaxed, confidential and safe setting to discuss death, drink tea (or a favorite beverage) and eat delicious cake and cookies.
The Death Café concept started in England, where “stiff-upper-lip” Brits have an especially hard time talking about death. Founder Jon Underwood modeled it on the café mortel created by Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz. Underwood held his first Death Café event September 2011 at his home in London. Since then, more than 200 people have attended Death Café events in the Royal Festival Hall, a yurt, cool cafes and other people’s houses.
Thanatologist (that’s a death educator) Lizzy Miles coordinated the first U.S. Death Café held in Columbus, Ohio July 2012. She has since gone on to coordinate four more, including one specifically for LGBT individuals.
The movement is growing in the U.S. I hosted two Death Café events in Albuquerque on September 30 and November 7. Home funeral guide Merilynne Rush hosted the first Death Café in Ann Arbor, Michigan on November 17.
My first Death Cafe featured a wide ranging discussion of mortality issues such as living life to the fullest, bucket lists, aging in place and end-of-life decision-making. Questions pondered included “Would you want to die in your sleep?” “Does the idea of death make us want to live more fully?” and “Is it right for someone to dictate not having a funeral or memorial service?”
In the program evaluation forms, some of the terms used to describe the event were “thought-provoking” “intriguing” “stimulating” “worthwhile” “comfortable” “informative” “practical” “interesting” “safe” “educational” and “fun.”
Death Cafes are always offered:
- On a not for profit basis, though to be sustainable hosts may try to cover expenses through donations and fundraising
- In an accessible, respectful and confidential space, free of discrimination, where people can express their views safely
- With no intention of leading participants towards any particular conclusion, product or course of action
- With refreshing drinks and nourishing food – and cake!
Underwood actively encourages people to set up their own Death Café events. In February 2012, he produced a guide to running your own Death Café. It’s available at http://www.deathcafe.com/2012/02/how-to-offer-death-cafe.html. You can also find articles and more information at http://agoodgoodbye.com/events/abq-death-cafe/ .
Death, if it’s discussed at all, is so often spoken about in furtive, low whispers. We’re all headed down this path eventually. Let’s talk about our concerns, our hopes and fears. The Death Café is a wonderful way to take this topic out of a dark closet.
The Doyenne of Death™ Gail Rubin is author of A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die and The Family Plot Blog. A death educator and Certified Celebrant who brings light to a dark subject, she helps get serious conversations started with funny film presentations. Her website is www.AGoodGoodbye.com.
Academy Guest Blogger
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (858) 453-2128
www.aaepa.com
If you missed my presentation “Laughing in the Face of Death: Funny Films for Funeral Planning” at the AAEPA Fall Summit, all is not lost. Here’s a recap of the film clips that were shown and the lessons from each.
Laughing in the Face of Death: The Pulitzer Prize-winning book The Denial of Death by Dr. Ernest Becker posits the Terror Management Theory. In a nutshell, it takes good self-esteem to consider one’s own mortality and make advance funeral plans. It’s estimated two-thirds of the population has low self-esteem. Humor helps circumvent avoidance of funeral planning issues. In a clip from The Mary Tyler Moore Show’s “Chuckles Bites the Dust” episode (1976) Mr. Grant explains to Ted Baxter why we laugh at something that scares us.
Planning a Funeral Party: Life cycle events, weddings and funerals, have similar elements: location, clergy, flowers, contacting all the family and friends, etc. However, if brides and grooms planned their weddings the way most people plan their funerals, they’d be scrambling to pull everything together in three to five days. A clip from Get Low (2009, PG-13) illustrates with Felix Bush, who wants to have a funeral party while he’s still alive.
Who’s In Charge? The Six Wives of Henry Lefay (2009, PG-13) provides a great example of the importance of making estate and funeral plans and keeping them up to date. Chaos and comedy ensues as Henry Lefay’s current and past wives come together at the funeral home.
Who Pays for the Funeral? Death at a Funeral (U.S. version – 2010, R) provides an opening to discuss Totten Trust/POD accounts, funeral trusts, and insurance.
Ensuring Your Arrangements: If you wanted something out of the ordinary, such as a Viking funeral, how can you ensure your plans are carried out? AAEPA’s Steve Hartnett suggests three ways: the executor be committed to the plan; pre-planning and pre-paying with a reputable funeral home; legal maneuvers and a letter in one’s personal files. Carpet Kingdom (2008, not rated) shows what happens when the will is ignored.
Personalizing Funerals: Undertaking Betty (2002, PG-13) is a comedy that shows an outrageous funeral fit for a Star Trek fan. Certified Celebrants can make the memorial service all about the person’s interests and passions.
Burial versus Cremation: Elizabethtown (2005, PG-13) is a romantic comedy that illustrates the clash of cultures between people who live in Kentucky (17% cremation rate) and Oregon (70%) regarding final disposition.
A Lesson in Eulogies and Ash Scattering: This scene from The Big Lebowski (1998, R) demonstrates the importance of where you stand when scattering. In addition, eulogies should be all about the deceased, not the person giving the eulogy.
Funerals and Storytelling: In the end, our lives are remembered in stories. Big Fish (2003, PG-13) illustrates the importance of having a community gathering. The Four R’s of every good memorial service are: Recognize the death; Remember with stories that prompt laughter and tears; Reaffirm beliefs; and Release the spirit of the deceased.
It was such a delight to meet so many AAEPA members at the summit! If you’d like directions for putting your own film clip presentations together, please email a note to Gail[at]AGoodGoodbye.com.
The Doyenne of Death™ Gail Rubin brings light to a dark subject and helps start funeral planning conversations with upbeat film clip-illustrated talks. She’s a Certified Celebrant and the author of the award-winning book A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die. Her website is www.AGoodGoodbye.com.
Academy Guest Blogger
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (858) 453-2128
www.aaepa.com
Would your clients like to speak to future generations from beyond the grave? There’s a growing trend of using QR codes to tell life stories on memorial markers.
QR codes are those checkered boxes you see on packages, newspaper and magazine ads, posters and flyers. Ordinarily, you use your smart phone to access online information through a QR code.
If you don’t have a QR code reader application on your smart phone, they are free for download. Here’s how it works. You tap the icon on the screen to launch the app, which uses the built-in camera to capture the image of the code.
Once it has read the code, a special web site immediately pops up in the Internet browser on your phone. It can be additional information about a product, a special web page that’s readable on smart phones, it can be a video, or a whole range of information.
The cool thing about QR codes on headstones is that you can scan the code and immediately learn more about the person than simply their date of birth and death. You can see a video of the person while they were alive, maybe dispensing words of wisdom. You can see photos, read or hear stories, and list the family tree. Just about anything you can put on a website can be incorporated into a site associated with a unique QR code. This is storytelling from beyond the grave.
The family is put in charge of putting the content onto these sites. One person is made the administrator, and given an access code to make the additions and changes. Many companies offer the web hosting and direct customer support for the QR code programs they provide.
One provider has a long history in the monument business. Jack Katzman was a pioneering Minneapolis-based headstone maker who started his business in 1935. With no one in the family interested in taking over, he closed shop in 1981 and died a few years later.
Last year, his grandsons Norm and Loren Taple reopened the monument business using an online portal to service clients all across North America. The Minneapolis Star-Tribune recently did a story about how the Katzman Monument Company is bringing headstones into the 21st Century with the addition of QR codes.
The Doyenne of Death™ Gail Rubin is a Certified Celebrant who brings light to a dark subject and helps get funeral planning conversations started. She looks forward to presenting “Laughing in the Face of Death: Funny Films for Funeral Planning” at the 2012 AAEPA Fall Summit in San Diego. Her website is www.AGoodGoodbye.com.
Academy Guest Blogger
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (858) 453-2128
www.aaepa.com
Sometimes, families avoid the idea of funeral planning because they’ve never experienced an uplifting memorial event. Baby boomers are changing all that.
It’s no secret that what I call “The Silver Tsunami” is challenging aging in America. This giant demographic wave of 63 million baby boomers is getting ready to crash into funeral services, altering this life cycle event as they changed weddings and births.
Over the past two years, I’ve undertaken my own personal challenge to attend 30 funerals in 30 days and write about each on The Family Plot Blog. These funerals and memorial services provide a cutting edge look at how families currently celebrate the lives of those they love.
The third “30 Funerals in 30 Days Challenge” in 2012 has just started. My goal this time around is to focus on those who are closest to my own age – 54 – to witness and report on how baby boomers are changing funeral service. The project runs from mid-August to mid-September.
The goals for the “30 Funerals in 30 Days Challenge” are to:
- Illustrate the many creative ways people celebrate the lives of those they love and how baby boomers are changing the funeral business.
- Help reduce a fear of talking about death – something that will happen to all of us.
- Show that funerals are a life cycle event much like a wedding, best planned more than a few days ahead of time.
The focus on baby boomers came from the last funeral in last year’s challenge. The memorial service for Erika Langholf (who died at age 53) was so joyous and creative, I decided to document funeral services for people in their 50s and 60s.
Sneak peek at Day One: a homegrown funeral and burial. The son washed and dressed his father’s body and buried him on Dad’s property under his favorite Ponderosa pine. Dad was just a few years older than the oldest of the boomers, but this memorial service was reflective of the Age of Aquarius.
To paraphrase an old Buick commercial, “This ain’t your grandfather’s funeral.” See all of the posts at http://thefamilyplot.wordpress.com/category/30-day-challenge/ and let me know what you think!
Gail Rubin is a Certified Celebrant who brings light to a dark subject and helps get funeral planning conversations started. She looks forward to presenting “Laughing in the Face of Death: Funny Films for Funeral Planning” at the 2012 AAEPA Fall Summit in San Diego. Her award-winning book, A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die, is available in print and ebook formats at Amazon.com, Barnes&Noble.com, and at AGoodGoodbye.com.
Academy Guest Blogger
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (858) 453-2128
www.aaepa.com
Estate planning attorneys see it all the time. Most clients avoid the funeral planning conversation, even though advance planning can reduce stress at a time of grief, save money and head off family conflict.
We have ample evidence that humans have a 100% mortality rate. It’s not a matter of “if” but “when” and the universe doesn’t tip its hand to let anyone know when that time will be. How can you help your client families be prepared in this arena?
Consider recommending a few of these tips to help start the conversation.
- Shop Before You Drop: If your car died, wouldn’t you think about what you wanted, do some research and shop around before you bought a new one? Apply that sensibility to funerals before someone dies. Knowing the costs and what is involved saves money and reduces stress when a death in the family actually occurs.
- Watch a Funny Film: Laughter can help circumvent discomfort with death. Laugh and learn by screening comedy movies like Undertaking Betty, Elizabethtown, or The Six Wives of Henry Lefay. Comedy can lead to conversation after the film ends. Here’s a list of funny film recommendations.
- Watch a Serious Video: The 30-minute DVD Making Sense of Final Arrangements and Burial Costs shows how to make those phone calls to funeral homes without embarrassment. This DVD project by Kristen Lord, a funeral director intern and hospice volunteer, illustrates the simple steps it takes to make smart funeral planning choices and become an informed consumer of funeral and burial costs. Learn more about the DVD Making Sense of Final Arrangements.
- Lead by Example: If parents or a partner avoid the funeral planning topic, make your own plans and invite the other person(s) to come along for the ride. It’s a fascinating shopping trip. Anyone up for a trip to the cemetery to browse for burial plots?
- Play The Newly-Dead Game™: Based on the premise of the classic TV show “The Newlywed Game,” this card-based game tests how well you know someone else’s last wishes. You can use it to start the conversation with life partners, parents, or anyone else for whom you might be called upon to plan a funeral. Learn more about The Newly-Dead Game.
Encourage clients to take some time to think about how they would like to be remembered and celebrated. The family’s experience of a funeral or memorial service is so much better when a loved one expresses their desires and values before dying. It’s an important aspect of legacy planning.
Certified Celebrant Gail Rubin brings light to a dark subject and helps get funeral planning conversations started. Her award-winning book, A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die, won Best of Show in the 2011 New Mexico Book Awards. The book is available in print and e-book formats at Amazon.com, Barnes&Noble.com, and at AGoodGoodbye.com. Contact her at 505-265-7215 or email Gail@AGoodGoodbye.com.
Academy Guest Blogger
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (858) 453-2128
www.aaepa.com
“It’s not right to rough up a kid for his lunch money, and it spits in the face of God to exploit the grieving for a buck.”
These strong words from Ed Howard, a lawyer and consumer advocate, were spoken at the recent Funeral Consumers Alliance (FCA) biennial meeting.
When Howard’s father died, it took him eight hours of calling funeral homes to get a rough outline of costs. Imagine the billable time he lost to a search for financial information related to funeral planning.
There’s also an emotional toll and level of frustration that could be avoided by funeral planning before there’s a death. And yet, “It’s not easy to get people to be informed and make decisions,” said funeral director Randy Garner, columnist for Funeral Director magazine.
Even though 80% of us will die a “managed death” in a medical setting, according to Garner, people still avoid advanced funeral planning. The FCA is dedicated to providing local information that protects a consumer’s right to choose a meaningful, dignified, and affordable funeral.
“What the FCA does is really, really, really important,” said Howard. “It’s hard because we don’t talk about funerals without a nervous giggle. We’re uncomfortable talking about death.”
Thousands of dollars spent on a funeral might be a drop in the bucket for your clients. Even when your clients have a net worth in the millions, don’t you help them get the best value for their money? Don’t overlook funeral services as a part of estate planning.
The Funeral Consumers Alliance can help. Local affiliates conduct surveys that pull together pricing information from funeral homes in each state and major market. Find your local affiliate through the organization’s website, www.funerals.org.
Gail Rubin is a Certified Celebrant and speaker who brings light to a dark subject and helps get funeral planning conversations started. Her book, A Good Goodbye: Funeral Planning for Those Who Don’t Plan to Die, has won multiple awards. Learn more at www.AGoodGoodbye.com. Gail is an ongoing contributor to the Academy blog. Contact: 505-265-7215 or email Gail@AGoodGoodbye.com.
Academy Guest Blogger
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (858) 453-2128
www.aaepa.com
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