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Being a former Marine, I know all too well that the holiday season is often bittersweet for our deployed military personnel and their families. It’s hard to be joyful when you’re a world away from those dearest to you. Here are three ways you can make the holidays a little warmer for our military personnel.
- Send a Card or a Care Package to a Deployed Service Member.It used to be that civilians could send care packages addressed to “any soldier;” however, security concerns now prevent this. The Department of Defense requires that all letters, cards, and care packages be addressed to a specific service member. If you don’t personally know a deployed service member, you can go to ourmilitary.mil/care-packages/ to find a list of organizations that will help you connect with a soldier overseas. Not sure what to include in a care package? AdoptaPlatoon has compiled an excellent list of tips, ideas, and reminders to get you started.
- Write an Online Thank You Note. The USO’s Thanks From Everywhere page lets you post an online message to deployed service members, their families, and to wounded soldiers and veterans. You can also read messages from people in your area and around the country.
- Help Out a Military Family. Deployed soldiers aren’t the only ones who sacrifice to serve our country. The holidays are especially difficult for the wives, husbands, and children left at home during a service member’s absence. Here are some ways to help:
- If you already know a military family, bake a batch of holiday treats to share, or offer to babysit so that mom or dad can do some Christmas shopping without the kids in tow – the simplest gestures often mean the most.
- Volunteer with the USO, give to Operation Homefront, or support another organization that helps military families.
- Give or donate a Flat Daddy to the family of a deployed soldier. Flat Daddies are life-sized cardboard cutout photos of deployed service men and women. They’re designed to help children – especially young children – of deployed soldiers better cope with their parents’ long absences.
Whether or not you already have a connection with a service member, these are just a few of the countless ways you can show your appreciation and support this holiday season – and throughout the year.
Jennifer Price
Director, Member Services
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (858) 453-2128
www.aaepa.com
Our Houston law firm received several emails today from a person who allegedly resides in Japan, who claims to earn $32.2M per year in income from his “business empire,” and who is seeking our assistance to handle his estate planning. He requested an engagement letter and the retainer amount in order to proceed with an estate plan. When we requested an explanation of why someone in Japan is interested in a Texas estate plan, he ignored the question and repeated the request.
Given the similarity between the foregoing facts, and those of a Houston law firm that does collection work that was scammed about a year ago, and a client that was almost scammed, I thought other attorneys should be aware of how this type of scam will probably work in terms of an estate planning law firm.
- If you respond to the request for a retainer agreement, and stipulate a minimum retainer, the purported client will send you a very authentic looking check, which you will end up putting into your trust account. If you ask for a small amount, such as $5k, he will probably send you $10k or more because, after all, he will have a lot of work.
- Shortly after you deposit the check, the client will “change” his mind about an estate plan at this time, or say that some family emergency precludes going forward at this time. He will then request an immediate return of the retainer, and probably even send someone to pick up the check. His objective is to get your check and cash it before his check bounces within the next 7-10 days. In the alternative, you might receive wiring instructions to a foreign bank.
- The person who picks up the check for the refunded retainer will be an alleged “friend or relative,” with fake identification, and will probably do one of two things: (1) drive immediately to your bank and negotiate the check; or (2) go to a check cashing business and immediately negotiate the check. The benefit of the second choice is that even if you stop payment on the check, the check cashing business is probably a holder in due course and any attempt to stop payment will fail.
For those who are interested, the actual email reads as follows:
We are a business couple and investor with a gross income of $32.2 Million US Dollars per year from our business empire. We want to retain your firm to be our Estate Planning Lawyer to help us with our WILL, if you are interested.
Please send us a retainer agreement we shall sign and return it back with your retainer fee and we shall book appointment to meet with you so we can write up our Last Will and Testament.
I hope the foregoing is helpful. Proceed with caution.
About the author: Stephen A. Mendel is a trial, real estate, business, and estate planning/probate attorney in the Houston, Texas area. Mr. Mendel has over thirty-four (34) years of business experience, over twenty-three (23) years of legal experience, and has maintained his own private law practice for the past sixteen (16) years. Mr. Mendel is a also a registered architect, licensed real estate broker, AV rated by Martindale Hubbell, was recognized in 2010 as one of Houston’s Top 100 Professionals, and was recognized as 2011 Boss of the Year by the Houston Association of Legal Professionals. Mr. Mendel was a fulltime faculty member for five (5) years with the University of Houston, Central Campus, where he taught construction related courses while he attended law school. Mr. Mendel is a contributing author of four books: (1) Strictly Business; (2) Love, Money & Control; (3) Total Wealth Management; and (4) Guiding Those Left Behind in Texas (a book on probate). Mr. Mendel publishes his own blog for his estate planning clients. www.mendaellawfirm.com/blog. In his “spare” time, Mr. Mendel enjoys jogging with his wife, snow skiing and attending sporting events with his son, and cycling.
Academy Guest Blogger
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (858) 453-2128
www.aaepa.com
The recent death of Steve Jobs really made me stop and think about how I will be remembered long after I’m gone. I think this is a fundamental question that we all have. We all want to be remembered well and not just be another faceless name on a family tree or a name on a headstone in some remote cemetery.
When Steve Jobs passed away, I was amazed to see the immediate shift in the news cycle on every major channel. One minute I was watching Piers Morgan on CNN, and the next minute the news that he had died changed everyone’s news coverage to Steve Jobs and his legacy. It was pretty incredible for a business leader to receive this much attention. I can understand this type of attention for a US President, a famous actor or a member of the Royal family, but this type of coverage shows the impact he has had on our society.
I was also encouraged by the impromptu memorials that popped up at Apple stores all over the world. It reminded me of what we saw when Princes Diana and Ronald Reagan died. It was a very impressive show of love and support for this great man.
Now, whether you’re a fan of Apple or not, you have to agree that Steve Jobs was a visionary man that changed the way we all live, work and communicate with others. Very few people can impact one industry in their lifetime and yet he was a pioneer in many. He revolutionized the personal computing industry with Apple and the Macintosh computer. He changed the animation world forever through Pixar. He turned the music industry upside down with iTunes. He shook up the portable music market with the iPod. He woke up the mobile phone industry with the iPhone. And, he made the mobile computing industry available and fun for millions of people with the iPad and the iPhone.
I really liken him to someone like Michelangelo, Galileo, Christopher Columbus, and others that not only impacted our lives but changed them forever with their art and discovery. I really don’t think we realize now how future generations will remember this man and all that he’s done for our society.
Now the tough question is, “How will you be remembered?” I don’t ask this to discourage you. The reality is that most of us won’t have this type of impact on our entire society, but we can on our families. I encourage you to take chances in life, be bold and most of all love your family with all that you have. You may not invent the iPhone, but to your family you are just as important. So start working now on your legacy to ensure that you are remembered well by all those that matter to you!
Bryan W. Adams is President & CEO of Premier Planning, LLC and Founder of Legacy Safeguard. Bryan is considered one of the nations’ leading experts on final expense planning, and he frequently speaks throughout the country about the importance of assisting clients to gain peace of mind through advanced funeral funding.
Bryan’s passion for helping families prepare for their final expenses came from being raised in the funeral business. His family still owns and operates several funeral homes, and he is constantly amazed at how unprepared families are when a death occurs. Bryan has worked tirelessly to help Americans plan for the inevitable and lessen the burden on their loved ones.
Academy Guest Blogger
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (858) 453-2128
www.aaepa.com
I was reading a recent Costco monthly magazine and came across an article by Andrew Lock, an internet marketing expert. I just had to share it with you because it reframes the blog I posted the other day about not knowing what is bad or good in our lives. Enjoy…
“Often life doesn’t go in the direction we want it to. Does that mean our lives are doomed and we can’t achieve the success we dream of? Let’s be realistic: Everybody fails. Consider the following.
Walt Disney was fired by a newspaper editor because “he lacked imagination and had no good ideas.” Disney went bankrupt several times before he built Disneyland. In fact, the proposed park was rejected by the city of Anaheim, California, on the grounds that it would only attract “riffraff.”
Thomas Edison’s teachers said he was “too stupid to learn anything.” He was fired from his first two jobs for being “nonproductive.” As an inventor, Edison made more than 1,000 unsuccessful attempts to invent the light bulb. When a reporter asked him how it felt to fail 1,000 times, Edison said that he didn’t fail all those times, but that the light bulb was an invention with 1,000 steps.
Albert Einstein did not speak until he was 4 years old and did not read until he was 7. His parents thought he was “subnormal,” and one of his teachers described him as “mentally slow, unsociable and adrift forever in foolish dreams.” He was expelled from school.
Every cartoon that Charles Schulz, creator of the comic strip Peanuts, submitted to the yearbook staff at his high school was rejected.
After Fred Astaire’s first screen test, the memo from the testing director of MGM, dated 1933, read, “Can’t act. Can’t sing. Slightly bald. Can dance a little.” Astaire kept that memo over the fireplace in his Beverly Hills home.
Decca Records turned down a recording contract with The Beatles with this fascinating evaluation: “We don’t like their sound. Guitar groups are on their way out.”
A friend of mine in the music industry personally auditioned a singer by the name of Reg Dwight in the 1960s. He unceremoniously shoved the singer out of his office for wasting his time. That singer is now better known as Elton John.
Imagine if these individuals had given up, believing they were doomed to failure and would never achieve success. Do you think they ever felt down and depressed? Sure. But they didn’t allow a gloomy state to overtake them, to overpower their desire to succeed. In every case they did succeed—in a huge way, far greater than their wildest dreams.
Bad experiences can be viewed as positive in hindsight. They can be stepping stones rather than stumbling blocks. It’s your choice. But be determined to never give up.”
Robert Armstrong
President & Co-Founder
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (858) 453-2128
www.aaepa.com
Sitting at the desk I decided to scan some old material, as I ripped apart pages, arranged neatly for the Fujitsu to do its job, I notice one page marked up so much I could hardly read it. Here then, worth sharing a few words you’ve heard in different ways before, and will likely hear again. If you find the principle difficult to accept, ask, “If this were true, what changes would I make in my life?”
“Beliefs matter…you can’t perform in opposition to your true beliefs…nor exceed whatever limits your beliefs…impose on you. I was taught the principle of ‘it’s ALL my fault, good or bad’ and I’ve embraced it despite the obvious intellectual argument for exceptions, because anything less permits excuse-making, permits belief in circumstances beyond my control, permits many other unhelpful beliefs. Better the occasional very sharp pain of this one. So, when I was rear-ended in bumper to bumper traffic…”
The article I reviewed, then describes the perpetrator – a moron driving completely out of control, then realizing that while it might have legally been the moron’s fault, in reality he could see it was his responsibility. He was late, had procrastinated running this errand, knew the traffic would be terrible because he put it off. “I can be mad at him all I want, and I was…but there’s no present or future profit in it. It’s only value is reminder not to be stupid.”
The article closes with examples of the very successful living by the code that “…all that occurs (in their life) is their personal responsibility.”
Scale of 1-10 how are you doing with this concept? Selective application or “all in”?
About the author: Mr. Parman is a frequent guest on the radio and can be seen on television talk shows explaining the importance of proper estate planning. Prosperity Productions selected Mr. Parman is a featured speaker in a nationally-recognized educational video on Living Trusts. He is the author of numerous published articles on financial and estate planning matters and the co-author of two books, Estate Planning Basics: A Crash Course in Safeguarding Your Legacy and Guiding Those Left Behind in Oklahoma: Settling the Affairs of Your Loved Ones.
Mr. Parman is a Member and Fellow of the American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys. He is also a member of the Oklahoma and Missouri Bar Associations, the American Bar Association, and the Oklahoma City Estate Planning Council.
Academy Guest Blogger
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (858) 453-2128
www.aaepa.com
Every day we work hard to help people leave a lasting legacy at Legacy Safeguard. We’ve created some of the most comprehensive legacy planning and end-of-life planning services in the legacy planning industry and we’re proud to help people be remembered long after they’re gone.
I also travel frequently across the country speaking to groups about the importance of legacy planning and I’ve found that people always want to talk about their family when thinking about their legacy. People want to talk about their kids and grandkids, and the hope they have for the next generation of their family. Over the years, I’ve realized that legacy planning is all about your family and the generations to come. This may sound obvious to most of you, but it has really hit home for me recently.
My wife and I started trying to have a family and we have struggled with infertility issues for over two years now. At first it wasn’t that big of a deal. We kept thinking it would work the next month. However, one month turned into a year and half. The disappointment each month was really unexplainable. Then Robyn finally got pregnant and we were overjoyed! I immediately started thinking about my hopes for our children and who they would become. I even went to see my estate planning attorney, John R. Vermillion, to make sure that we had everything prepared, so that if something happened to me that my family would be protected.
That joy and excitement that we felt quickly faded when Robyn miscarried and we lost the child we had hoped and prayed for. After recovering from the grief and loss of losing the pregnancy we started trying again with the help of fertility specialists. Again, Robyn got pregnant, and again we lost the pregnancy. We were devastated. It has been the hardest thing we’ve ever had to walk through. The hope of having children, and the hope of leaving a legacy through our family has been more challenging than we ever expected, but we remain hopeful that one day we will be blessed with children of our own.
Remember as you help people plan for their legacy through proper estate planning, that it all comes back to the basic needs of family and providing for the future. Make it personal, and encourage your clients to share with you about their hope for the future of their family. Estate and legacy planning really comes down to everyone’s hope for leaving a legacy!
Bryan W. Adams is President & CEO of Premier Planning, LLC and Founder of Legacy Safeguard. Bryan is considered one of the nations’ leading experts on final expense planning, and he frequently speaks throughout the country about the importance of assisting clients to gain peace of mind through advanced funeral funding.
Bryan’s passion for helping families prepare for their final expenses came from being raised in the funeral business. His family still owns and operates several funeral homes, and he is constantly amazed at how unprepared families are when a death occurs. Bryan has worked tirelessly to help Americans plan for the inevitable and lessen the burden on their loved ones
Academy Guest Blogger
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (858) 453-2128
www.aaepa.com
Given the retirement of Steve Jobs as CEO of Apple, I was reminded of his attitude about his health risks and how it empowered rather than limited him:
“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything; all external expectations, pride, fear of embarrassment or failure; these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.” (Steve Jobs, 2005 Commencement speech).
This got me to thinking about the hundreds of other examples of those who suffered severe setbacks in life, only to recognize later that these events opened the door for accomplishments that transformed them.
I immediately think of Lance Armstrong and the cancer that almost took his life, yet he has often said it was the defining moment of his spectacular career.
Rachel Ray, who was mugged twice coming home to her apartment in New York City and fearing for her life went back home to upstate New York and the safety of her family. To make ends meet, she started a little cooking class in a local market where she was working and wrote a little book on 30 minutes dishes. Al Roker from NBC was from Syracuse and was handed the book. This led to a last minute spot on the Today show, and of course, the rest is culinary history.
Jim Braddock, the “Cinderella Man” and heavyweight champ of the world was known in his early career as a fighter without an effective left hand. During the depression he broke his right hand and thought his career was over. He was forced to work on the docks only using his left hand. By the time he got his shot at Max Baer for the title fight, his left hand was as lethal as his right and helped him win the fight in 15 rounds.
There are far too many examples to recite here, but the lesson for me is that you never know in life what’s good and what’s bad. Looking back on my own life, there were times that felt desperate and unsalvageable, but reflecting back I can see who I was able to become in those moments opened up a life of new possibilities.
How about you? In your life, are you able to see past setbacks in a new positive light?
Robert Armstrong
President & Co-Founder
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, California 92123
Phone: (858) 453-2128
www.aaepa.com
Robert Ettinger, the father of cryonics, died a few weeks ago at the age of 92. He believed that an individual can achieve immortality by freezing one’s body upon death, until scientific advances allow them to be resurrected.
Having already frozen his mother and his 1st and 2nd wives, Mr. Ettinger became his Cryonics Institute’s 106th human patient. Last year, he described these patients to a New Yorker reporter as “not truly dead in any fundamental sense.”
So far, over 900 individuals have registered and paid a minimum of $28,000 to be frozen by the Institute upon their deaths. If you think that sounds steep, you’ll be surprised to learn that a competing organization charges multiples times more.
(You may recall the most famous cryonics customer, former major league ball player Ted Williams, and the legal dispute over his actual wishes for the disposition of his remains back in 2002.)
Of course, in addition to the enormous scientific obstacles to cryonics as yet unsolved, there are also interesting legal questions. For example, Ettinger himself would face a tricky situation of the family law variety, were cryonics ever to be successful. As he was a widow before marrying his 2nd wife, what would happen if both Mr. Ettinger’s wives were brought back to life? “That would be a high class problem,” he observed.
Are you likely to encounter a cryonics client? Probably not. But cryonics is just one example of how advances in science and medicine often come before the usefulness of these technologies has been determined. And how these developments may be challenging our familiar definitions of life, death, and the execution of our end-of-life wishes.
If you’ve encountered an unusual situation around clients’ estate planning or healthcare wishes, please let me know (no client names, of course) at rsiegel@docubank.com.
Randi J. Siegel, MBA, is the President of DocuBank (docubank.com), the largest advance directive registry in the U.S., which ensures that the healthcare directives of its 190,000 enrollees are immediately available 24/7/365. Working with estate planning professionals since 1997, Randi frequently speaks at national estate planning conferences and has appeared on radio and television as an authority on registries. She is active in health policy pertaining to advance directives and serves as a Senior Fellow at the Jefferson School of Population Health in Philadelphia. Randi is an ongoing contributor to the Academy blog.
Academy Guest Blogger
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
9444 Balboa Avenue, Suite 300
San Diego, CA 92123
858-453-2128
www.aaepa.com
The holiday season brings people together; whether you are spending time with family to enjoy a holiday meal, out shopping with friends, or working on a community project. Whatever the reason, people use this time of the year to reconnect.
There are so many things each of us take for granted. One of the first things we do each morning is select what we are going to wear that day. For many people it is not so much what am I going to wear, but do I have something to wear? Do I have something to wear that will protect me from the elements, shelter me from the rain or cold, or block the blowing wind?
Our company gives back by participating in a local coat drive to aid a homeless shelter in Dallas, Texas. Every year we collect coats, blankets, socks, hats, and other winter attire that will keep someone warm. Items are collected, sized and sorted for months, all in preparation for this one evening. Each time we go to the shelter, there are so many memorable stories, but I wanted to share this one:
One evening, a very tiny, little lady approached a table that was designated for extra large men. The volunteer assigned to the table attempted to redirect her, but the lady was insistent. She looked very determined. She knew what she needed and she was not giving up. The volunteer tried to help, and after much coaxing, the lady finally told her what she had in mind: She was looking for a coat for a friend who could not come with her that night because he was outside with all of her belongings. She wasn’t interested in anything for herself, just for him. She said he does so much for me; I just want to do something for him, “he’s proud, you know.” The volunteer held up several coats until they found just the right one. When they settled on one, she let out a big “hallelujah” as to say her job was done. She hugged the volunteer and quickly left the building.
Gratitude is the quality of being thankful and showing appreciation. This tiny, little lady was so thankful for the kindness her friend showed her each day; she put her very real needs aside for him. She did it cheerfully, generously, and willingly without any thought.
Isn’t this something we could focus on especially at this time of the year? Expressing gratitude is a rewarding habit that affirms the grace of the giver. Gratitude opens our hearts and encourages us to take a moment to reflect on each gift that crosses our lives.
We are so grateful for this time to reflect on our many blessings of hope and thankfulness. We are thankful for our association with the outstanding group of men and woman of the Academy and look forward to our continued partnership.
Bryan W. Adams is President & CEO of Premier Planning, LLC and Founder of Legacy Safeguard. Bryan is considered one of the nations’ leading experts on final expense planning, and he frequently speaks throughout the country about the importance of assisting clients to gain peace of mind through advanced funeral funding.
Bryan’s passion for helping families prepare for their final expenses came from being raised in the funeral business. His family still owns and operates several funeral homes, and he is constantly amazed at how unprepared families are when a death occurs. Bryan has worked tirelessly to help Americans plan for the inevitable and lessen the burden on their loved ones.
Academy Guest Blogger
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
6050 Santo Rd., Ste. 240
San Diego, CA 92124
858-453-2128
www.aaepa.com
Every year around Thanksgiving I think about the wishbone tradition. My dad always made a big deal about it, and my sister and I would always try to be the one who got the long end of the wishbone. That was always a special time for us and even though we had no idea what the tradition was all about, it was fun to have our mom and dad laugh as we tried to strategically break the wishbone in two.
We always thought that this was just our family tradition, but did you know that the tradition of breaking a wishbone dates back for over 2,400 years? During that era, the Etruscan people believed that fowl could predict the future. Each day the hen’s squawking would announce that she was laying an egg and the dawning of a new day was then broadcast by the early morning crowing of the rooster. The Etruscan people also believed that the way chicken’s selected the grain they ate was prophetic. They drew a circle in the dirt and divided it into twenty wedges; each represented a letter in the Etruscan alphabet. A piece of grain would be placed in each wedge. As the hen ate, a scribe would list the order of the letters the hen pecked and the letter order would be used by the high priest to answer questions. If a chicken was killed, the collarbone was thought to be sacred, thus it was not touched and was left to dry in the sun. The people gathered around to hold the unbroken bone and made a wish in hopes of it bringing them good luck. The “wishbone tradition” was derived from this early practice.
The Roman’s embraced many of the Etruscan customs. The people of Rome began fighting over the unbroken bones of chickens because they wanted good fortune. It was said that the phases, “I need a lucky break,” or “I never get a break,” came from the looser in the tug of collarbone contest. This quickly spread throughout England, and the English people referred to the breaking of the bones as “merry-thoughts.”
When the Pilgrims arrived at Plymouth Rock, they brought the custom of breaking the wishbone with them. As they looked around at their new surroundings in the woods of North America, there were no chickens, but turkeys were abundant. They changed the custom from the chicken to the turkey.
This custom is certainly alive and well with families like mine all across the country. Families gather around the Thanksgiving table each year and watch as dad very skillfully removes the U- shaped wishbone. Unlike our forefather’s the tradition is far too exciting to let the wishbone dry out. One family member is usually charged with detailing the rules of the wishbone break to the chosen contestants. The anticipation builds and the breaking of the wishbone contest begins. The declaration of the lucky one is decided by who ends up with the largest part of the bone. The winner is awarded with the anticipation of good luck for the future.
Wouldn’t it be interesting if our future could be shaped by the lucky break of the wish bone? We all know that is not true, but what shapes our future is surrounding ourselves with people that will help guide and assist us in making those hard decisions. Much like the father that carefully carves out the wishbone each year, you as estate planning attorneys, help families carve out and secure your clients financial future and protect their legacy. Legacy Safeguard is proud to be a part of team assisting families in their time of need and insuring their memories and traditions are passed on to future generations. Getting the “lucky break” is finding the right support system that can help secure your family legacy, and we are thankful that we can have some small part in that at Legacy Safeguard.
Bryan W. Adams is President & CEO of Premier Planning, LLC and Founder of Legacy Safeguard. Bryan is considered one of the nations’ leading experts on final expense planning, and he frequently speaks throughout the country about the importance of assisting clients to gain peace of mind through advanced funeral funding.
Bryan’s passion for helping families prepare for their final expenses came from being raised in the funeral business. His family still owns and operates several funeral homes, and he is constantly amazed at how unprepared families are when a death occurs. Bryan has worked tirelessly to help Americans plan for the inevitable and lessen the burden on their loved ones.
Academy Guest Blogger
American Academy of Estate Planning Attorneys, Inc.
6050 Santo Rd., Ste. 240
San Diego, CA 92124
858-453-2128
www.aaepa.com
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