A couple of things come to mind. First, however, your friend needs help. Now that she has a special memorial sight, she may feel the obligation to post to it, but six years is a long time. She will never get over the loss of her daughter, completely, but she needs to let it go. I suspect others in her life have moved on and miss her being available for them. It is how marriages end and relationships die. She may feel they are heartless and disloyal to her daughter’s memory, but nursing the hurt is of no value to anyone.

In dealing with a grieving client, I find that if I acknowledge the pain right up front and take a minute to hear their story, they are prepared to move on to the legal matters. I also find that if it is too soon for them it is best if they bring someone with them to the consultation. I once had a client who had lost her husband very recently. She wanted to stay busy as a way of dealing with her grief. Unfortunately, it was too soon as was evident later when she said to me, “I can see your mouth moving, so I know you are talking to me, but I haven’t heard a word you said.” Luckily, her daughter was with her and she said, “don’t worry, Mom. I have been taking good notes and I know what to do to help you.”

Listening is key. I like to assure clients they are being heard. Tears have welled in my eyes as clients talk about their loss. I wouldn’t say, however, this distracts me from getting the job done. Nor would I say I feel lost in their emotions. I find myself instead, perhaps, more connected to clients that take the time to grieve and share a bit of their family history. What is so amazing about being in this area of law is the satisfaction gained in assisting the grieving. Just today, a client talked to me on the phone about the recent loss of her mother and her brother, as well as a few other difficult situations she is currently experiencing. I told her I appreciated her confiding in me. She thanked me again and again after our conversation. I often hear on the phone, “Sorry to bother you.” I always stop the client and say something to the effect of, “That’s what I’m here for.” Working with those who truly appreciate our work is a pleasure. Brad, I think you are right on; acknowledging the pain initially allows the client to then move forward to discuss legal issues. And Dave, I found your comment endearing. In how many areas of law do we as attorneys have the privilege to let clients know they are in our prayers? I find this to be another one of the gratifying aspects of this practice.